Pretentious Ramblings #1

Pretentious Ramblings Of An Angst Ridden Teenage Girl That Just Wants To Write

This is probably my most raw writing and it feels weird to expose it to everyone here. It’s very easily misinterpreted if you don’t have a completely open mind yet it’s written to be interpreted differently. I could write a whole post trying to explain it properly but i’d rather see what you guys take away from it first. However, I do want to mention that it is not as good written on a screen as it is by hand due to the sloppy handwriting in places, the spelling mistakes and changes of pen having a part to play in the writing. I will try and recreate it to the best of my ability so anyone who’s interested can get the full effect but it will be difficult. In short, the change in pen is when I went away and came back to it, the sloppy parts of handwriting are to display how it was written, quickly in places, uncomfortably in others. The mistakes are left in to depict how rapidly it was put down and how indecisive and precise I have been with my word choice. Please note the title itself says it is pretentious ramblings so this is not factual, it’s dramatic, it’s sporadic and comes across as if I’m trying too hard. THIS IS INTENTIONAL. Everything in this piece has a purpose, there are things that have been purposefully thought of and others that have been scribbled on the back of paracetamol packages to add in, again, this is the point. Also, the pieces that aren’t completely original are also placed in with meaning, nothing’s original and paraphrasing is a common action when it comes to written art. I’d love to know what you guys think of this and if you want something explained or you’re willing to let me know what you took away from it then please don’t shy away from the comment section, i’d love to read your views! And again, they are just Pretentious Ramblings so please take it all with a pitch of salt and don’t be a wet wipe about it x

I want to write. That’s all I ever want to do. The power of words is an all consuming truth that eats away at me, shrouding necessities to function such as sleep and eat because I long to write. I crave that feeling of fear when I allow someone to read my words. That same consternation people get when there is one less step on the case and your foot comes crashing down, just to meet gratefully with the floor beneath and have equilibrium restored. I want to create something raw and evoking powerful stimulating. Suffering a state of occhiolism, it’s driving me insane.

There is so much more to see, more to feel, more to learn. Knowledge is the most powerful thing life has to offer for free and I feel as though I shall never be able to exploit that fully, I do not have the time. Society demands I conform to it’s strict regime and leaves me with little freedom but I have my words and they cannot be taken from me.

That is power.

I yearn for more. More than the common desiderata of life. I want explicitness, no stone left unturned, no word left unread, no emotion left unfelt. I want the world to stand naked before me. I need to invoke doubt – I want must give people a reason to second guess everything they thought they knew in order to convert all environments into some kind of experience thesaurus and then, and only then, will they start taking advantage of their capability to learn.

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