Okay, so in the hand written version of Pretentious Ramblings, there are sections titled “This Belongs No Where” because I felt it was necessary to add them in but they had no real place. My thoughts are fragmented and it seems, so is my writing.
THIS BELONGS NO WHERE #1
Some will search for another, some will go to the ends of the earth to track down the origins of that echo. Others refuse to risk wasting their time on another illusion. A handful will decide that maybe loving someone isn’t for them, needing someone might not be enough so they search for something else.
But what happens if you were wrong? What happens if you were being greedy in searching for a little more? We often want things we don’t have because they’re shiny and alluring. Owning something considered unattainable makes us feel special. As a species, temptation is our biggest downfall. We don’t want the right, we want the right now. But when it’s touched, it is no longer polished, rust proceeds to ruin the complexion. Once again, it’s not what we want so we move along, dropping another soul in the quest to find. Though we don’t really know what we’re hunting. Driven by lust.
Again, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, it’s you that doesn’t live up to other expectations. Sometimes, it’s you being left behind to bite your own lip and hold your own hand. Ice solidifies the streams running through your body, followed by a heat washing over you, bursting your vessels and suddenly, it’s two in the afternoon, you’re drunk, shaking on your bedroom floor, screaming into the emptiness for them to come back only to have the walls scream back at you because in amidst losing them, you’ve momentarily lost yourself and there you sit, merely existing, barely surviving. A ghost of who you once were, nothing but a hollow shell with a false persona.
Love isn’t so fucking sweet now, is it?