All three of you better buckle up because I’m back at it with one of my unprofessional but personal, and therefore valid, opinions on something I’m not qualified in having an opinion of but know plenty of people go through and not enough people discuss it.
I want to start off by saying I really couldn’t be happier with my life right now and I think that’s why I’m so comfortable writing this post because sometimes I find myself missing the feeling of sadness.
Let me expand on this because I don’t mean that I want to be sad, no one wants to be sad, that’s a completely different box of frogs. What I mean is when I was continuously sad, I had a totally different personality. As Jessica Lindsay stated in her Metro Article, it feels like “a form of mental Stockholm Syndrome.”
Being sad becomes a part of you and it’s not scary to be sad because you already know what to expect of it. Sadness was a default emotion, I knew how to process it. In the familiarity of sadness, we find a friend, a very destructive friend but we know it well and with that comes the reluctance to get better. And I think that’s why people find themselves growing nostalgic over it. Not only that but when it’s part of our identity, it feels so big that it becomes our identity. Without it, some people aren’t sure who to be. Sad people tend to indulge in self destructive behaviour and due to the fact that this will often result in some interesting stories at the expense of their mental health, which is never a good price to pay in order to seem interesting to people, some will feel boring without it.
It’s hard to put into words but I get it.
Another reason I think myself and others miss sadness is because of the lies it told us about the amount of control we had. It feels like nothing could impact us unless we actively let it because we have one singular mood. In reality, it just stopped me from enjoying things at the risk of feeling a fleeting happiness and never knowing when that next dose of serotonin is going to come. May as well just stay sad.
Along with this in regards to the control it makes you feel like you have, when you’re happy, you need a different type of motivation to improve yourself because you’re already pretty satisfied with your life. When you’re sad, it’s a whole other story. I never talk about my relationship with food on any of my socials for the simple fact that I don’t want to but sadness propelled me into some extremely unhealthy habits that I mistook for control and from this, I got results and those results made me happy. But I couldn’t get those results without being sad. Now that I’m not sad, I don’t partake in all of the unhealthy habits that became a part of me and therefore, I don’t get results I used to get – you see where I’m going with this? I feel like that may be another reason I catch myself missing sadness sometimes.
Ha! And if that ain’t some toxic BS then I don’t know what is.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say, as I try to make clear in all my other blog posts surrounding these sensitive subjects is that you’re not alone in feeling this way. It doesn’t make you weird. You’ve just got to avoid romanticising the idea of being sad and falling into the self destructive rabbit hole of finding reasons to be sad again just because you get a little nostalgic over the identity you used to have.
So there’s my two pence on the subject, I hope you have a nice day with lots of smiles x