Things My Friends and I Have Said Taken Out Of Context #5

I would seriously recommend starting one of these quote books yourselves.

“You look like Sonic. Sonic head lookin’ ass.”

“Sister’s just crashed, lol, might make a Tik Tok.”

“I mead, 50 percent was shot eight times.” “Did you just call him 50 percent?”

“Whatever he is, his mum don’t love him. He’s got a bowl cut.”

“Lean, mean, tractor driving machine, that’s what I am.”

“The bed’s fucking covered in granola.”

“Is the cast of Ratatouille outside?”

“Why are you dressed like a one night stand that won’t leave?”

“Tell me something I can’t do other than play guitar and cartwheels.”

“Has an NHS badge and thinks he owns the world, your dad’s like a shit James Bond.”

“How much can you get for whiplash?”

“‘Dad, where’s my hammer?’ It was 10 o’clock at night.”

“I’m wifey as fuck, even my star sign says so.”

“There’s one right there bitch, give it to me.”

“They’ve got miniature horses.” “That’s a Shetland Pony.”

“We’re real adults, not like these fake adults. Fucking posers.”

“Love Island is the only path I’m willing to go.”

“Well if it’s not Evian, what is it? It’s definitely not Volvic.”

“I like hot raisins.”

“Why are you sat so far back?”

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